Give you heart, mind, soul, and body a break from the negatives.
Your desire to be positive and become a better person doesn't come without challenges. They chip away at you over time. Day after day battling can deteriorate your tools and armor you use to fight through life. You must take time for self-regeneration. Internal and external cleanse to flush away that filth that can weigh down your inner and outer person.
Eliminate the waste that has entered your life through misuse of time, bad financial decisions, negative people, unhealthy foods, unhealthy intake through your five senses, and attachment to bad spirits.
Think about it:
1. What and who have you been in touch with?
2. What aromas have you taken in?
3. What have you been looking at?
4. What have you been listening to?
5. What have you tasted?
Not only are these pipelines to your body but also to your mind, soul, and spirit. Has ALL of it been good for you? No. Now you see what I'm talking about, don't you? Cleanse yourself!
Refresh the full essence of your being. Take time for self through reflection, renewal, and refocus. Walk in the newness of your atmosphere. Walk in the newness of you!
You have full control of your life. You can't just go, go, go without stopping to allow yourself to relax and regroup. Stop to calibrate your life. Don't worry. This will not stop the momentum. Make a pit stop and use your time to rest wisely.
Then get back to working towards your goals with a newness of life! Refreshed!
We all need a moment during the day for ourselves. We need to decompress daily. We need to stop thinking about everything and everyone. Think about yourself. Hour 22 is that moment. It's about you and you alone. Follow me on IG@IM_EM3. My new website is www.iamem3.com.
Tuesday, December 27, 2016
Thursday, December 15, 2016
How Bad Is Bad Enough
You want it so bad! But, how bad do you really want it? That thing! That one thing you cannot shake from your heart and mind! How bad do you want it? Do you want it more than you want breath in your body? Does your life depend on it? Is it a part of the fabric of your being? Do you dream of it every night? Do you talk to other people about every single day until they get tired of hearing about it? Does it dominate the thoughts in your mind?
Ok. Great! Now that all of that is out of the way, let's really talk about it now! How bad is bad enough? If you want this... THING so much, what steps are you taking towards it's attainment? Have you written it down? Have you made a plan? Have you bounced ideas off of people who are good at it? Have you researched it and taken notes. See!? If you have not done any of these things, then you don't really want it! Maybe you kind of desire it but, you don't want it!
If you wanted it, there would be pictures of it in front of you at all times. If you wanted it, you would be working towards. Anyone can talk about what they want but not everybody is grinding! If you wanted it then weeks, months, years later there would be some progress and not just a bunch of talk. People will buy-in to your dreams if they see you're actually working and not just talking.
Stop talking about it and start doing it! If you have not written a plan, who are you fooling? Who are you trying to convince by talking about it. People lose interest in continual lip-service when absolutely zero attributes are being shown. I'll give you an example. At one point, I wanted to do a project. I kept telling my daughter I was going to do it. Then some months later, I started telling her about another project I was going to do. Her response was classic. "Why are you talking about another project and you never did the other one?" The sting of her words cut deep! Then I realized I had not done one part of the first project. I tried to convince her by saying, "I'm going to do the other one, watch!" She walked away in disbelief with a simple response of, "Mmm hmm."
No one wants your words. They want action! If you cannot produce, then you are not believable. So, how bad is bad enough? It's bad enough when you start making progress. You want it bad enough when the vision board filled with pictures are now their three dimensional counterparts. Progress equals happiness! If you have steps towards the goals, you will be happy. Don't be frustrated for not achieving your goals. Be upset that you never planned it and never worked towards it. How bad do you want it? Now, how bad is bad enough? You decide!
Ok. Great! Now that all of that is out of the way, let's really talk about it now! How bad is bad enough? If you want this... THING so much, what steps are you taking towards it's attainment? Have you written it down? Have you made a plan? Have you bounced ideas off of people who are good at it? Have you researched it and taken notes. See!? If you have not done any of these things, then you don't really want it! Maybe you kind of desire it but, you don't want it!
If you wanted it, there would be pictures of it in front of you at all times. If you wanted it, you would be working towards. Anyone can talk about what they want but not everybody is grinding! If you wanted it then weeks, months, years later there would be some progress and not just a bunch of talk. People will buy-in to your dreams if they see you're actually working and not just talking.
Stop talking about it and start doing it! If you have not written a plan, who are you fooling? Who are you trying to convince by talking about it. People lose interest in continual lip-service when absolutely zero attributes are being shown. I'll give you an example. At one point, I wanted to do a project. I kept telling my daughter I was going to do it. Then some months later, I started telling her about another project I was going to do. Her response was classic. "Why are you talking about another project and you never did the other one?" The sting of her words cut deep! Then I realized I had not done one part of the first project. I tried to convince her by saying, "I'm going to do the other one, watch!" She walked away in disbelief with a simple response of, "Mmm hmm."
No one wants your words. They want action! If you cannot produce, then you are not believable. So, how bad is bad enough? It's bad enough when you start making progress. You want it bad enough when the vision board filled with pictures are now their three dimensional counterparts. Progress equals happiness! If you have steps towards the goals, you will be happy. Don't be frustrated for not achieving your goals. Be upset that you never planned it and never worked towards it. How bad do you want it? Now, how bad is bad enough? You decide!
Wednesday, December 14, 2016
If Not You...
I used to wonder why certain things happened in my life. I would sit and ask myself how did I get into this mess or why was I blessed in such a manner. It didn't matter if it was good or bad, I questioned everything. Sometimes, I did not feel like I deserved the awards I received. Other times, I felt like I was deserving of the horrible hand I was dealt in life.
I then realized, as I got older, the hand I was dealt was for me to make the best of it no matter the circumstance. There was a lesson for me to learn in the good times. There was a bigger lesson to learn in the bad times. I questioned God and asked why do I have to go through this situation? It was always "Why me?" A friend once said, "Why not you?" God then said, "If not you, than who?"
Who else is this meant for to go through? Who else should stand in the place of the weak and go through what they cannot handle yet? Who else to stand on stage and be blessed beyond measure? If the assignment comes my way, it is my responsibility to accept the mission what ever and where ever it may be. My thought now is, "Send me and I'll go!" I realize that if I fail to enter in the situation, I could be blocking myself from being taught a valuable lesson. Even more than that, I can end up not being available to help someone else that may be in need. I have to go through, not just for me, but for others.
Just as I have learned to handle my situations, you have been chosen for yours. You have so much to offer this world. You can't go through life running from what you are called to do. You have been chosen. You must go through it. That trial, that test is yours and no one else's. It's your lot in life. Don't question it. Accept it. Don't wish it on anyone else. It's not for them, it's for you. If not you, than who?
I then realized, as I got older, the hand I was dealt was for me to make the best of it no matter the circumstance. There was a lesson for me to learn in the good times. There was a bigger lesson to learn in the bad times. I questioned God and asked why do I have to go through this situation? It was always "Why me?" A friend once said, "Why not you?" God then said, "If not you, than who?"
Who else is this meant for to go through? Who else should stand in the place of the weak and go through what they cannot handle yet? Who else to stand on stage and be blessed beyond measure? If the assignment comes my way, it is my responsibility to accept the mission what ever and where ever it may be. My thought now is, "Send me and I'll go!" I realize that if I fail to enter in the situation, I could be blocking myself from being taught a valuable lesson. Even more than that, I can end up not being available to help someone else that may be in need. I have to go through, not just for me, but for others.
Just as I have learned to handle my situations, you have been chosen for yours. You have so much to offer this world. You can't go through life running from what you are called to do. You have been chosen. You must go through it. That trial, that test is yours and no one else's. It's your lot in life. Don't question it. Accept it. Don't wish it on anyone else. It's not for them, it's for you. If not you, than who?
Tuesday, December 13, 2016
Accountability
You set goals for yourself every week, month, and year. The New Year is fast approaching and everyone will be all about New Year's Resolutions! Yes! It's "that" time again. All of the financial, nutritional, target weight, relationship, and personal goals will be set. The gyms will be packed with "Resolutionaries"! Well... that is until about March. Then the gyms will slowly begin to thin out consistently until the only ones left are the ones who have made a lifestyle change versus a resolution.
There will be an influx of investments made, only to be lost by mid-year because the "Resolutionaries" have all given up. Nutrition plans will be high on the metrics for Google's top searches in January and then as the month fades, so will the number of searches. But why? Why do we set a goal with no intention of achieving them. Year-after-year we set all of these resolutions. Then by the mid-year we are questioning ourselves. By the fall, we are filled with regrets of the previous months' decisions. Only to go into the winter time initially depressed and then, the cycle starts all over again. "This time, I'm going to do it! Not like this year! I'm not stopping! Watch!" The problem is, we have been watching. Every year we hear the same statements. We are your friends. We know you better than you think.
I challenge you this time, better yet, I dare you! Do not make a resolution for this new year. Set a goal and include tasks to be accomplished in order to achieve those goals. Develop a plan, yes, a real plan with dates and objectives that are S.M.A.R.T. (Specific. Measurable, Achievable. Realistic. Timely.). Identify your accountability partners. Let them know your plan. Provide them a copy of it. These people cannot be yes-man mentality. They must be like drill instructors and hold you accountable to what you said you would do. They are the ones that will jump out of the bushes and blow the whistle when you have that big greasy cheeseburger about to pass your lips. They are the ones who will tell you to keep running, keep reading, and stop spending! Then outline how your lifestyle will change, again, with dates of achievements. These dates will become your milestones. Take pictures along the way. Your appearance, your bank account, your GPA, etc. and watch the progress. Lifestyle is permanent and not a temporary thrill like resolutions. You are forming a new way of life.
Accountability will be the best thing you can do for yourself. Do not make a Plan B. An alternative will weaken your performance of the primary plan. Why? You will give yourself an excuse when it gets hard. "Well, since this didn't work, I can just do it this way." NO! You have no choice but to succeed. Only one way. No way but to go through it! No Plan B!
Hold yourself accountable to what you said you would do! You've got this. If no one else believes you can do it (even you), I believe in you. We know "Just do it" because it's Nike. How about "Just do it" because it's YOUR life! Start working on your goals, plans, and accountability partners right now. Don't wait until the New Year. Start now!
There will be an influx of investments made, only to be lost by mid-year because the "Resolutionaries" have all given up. Nutrition plans will be high on the metrics for Google's top searches in January and then as the month fades, so will the number of searches. But why? Why do we set a goal with no intention of achieving them. Year-after-year we set all of these resolutions. Then by the mid-year we are questioning ourselves. By the fall, we are filled with regrets of the previous months' decisions. Only to go into the winter time initially depressed and then, the cycle starts all over again. "This time, I'm going to do it! Not like this year! I'm not stopping! Watch!" The problem is, we have been watching. Every year we hear the same statements. We are your friends. We know you better than you think.
I challenge you this time, better yet, I dare you! Do not make a resolution for this new year. Set a goal and include tasks to be accomplished in order to achieve those goals. Develop a plan, yes, a real plan with dates and objectives that are S.M.A.R.T. (Specific. Measurable, Achievable. Realistic. Timely.). Identify your accountability partners. Let them know your plan. Provide them a copy of it. These people cannot be yes-man mentality. They must be like drill instructors and hold you accountable to what you said you would do. They are the ones that will jump out of the bushes and blow the whistle when you have that big greasy cheeseburger about to pass your lips. They are the ones who will tell you to keep running, keep reading, and stop spending! Then outline how your lifestyle will change, again, with dates of achievements. These dates will become your milestones. Take pictures along the way. Your appearance, your bank account, your GPA, etc. and watch the progress. Lifestyle is permanent and not a temporary thrill like resolutions. You are forming a new way of life.
Accountability will be the best thing you can do for yourself. Do not make a Plan B. An alternative will weaken your performance of the primary plan. Why? You will give yourself an excuse when it gets hard. "Well, since this didn't work, I can just do it this way." NO! You have no choice but to succeed. Only one way. No way but to go through it! No Plan B!
Hold yourself accountable to what you said you would do! You've got this. If no one else believes you can do it (even you), I believe in you. We know "Just do it" because it's Nike. How about "Just do it" because it's YOUR life! Start working on your goals, plans, and accountability partners right now. Don't wait until the New Year. Start now!
Monday, December 12, 2016
When the Pain is Too Heavy
Those painful moments come in our lives at some point and they seem so difficult to handle. It could be from the loss of a loved one, a failed relationship, hurtful words from a person close to you, or issues at work or school. Maybe you got yourself into a bad situation. Maybe you are being bullied by someone and can't find a way of stopping it. Maybe you are being abused and feel your voice is lost. Whatever the circumstance, you can feel all alone and like no one sees or hears you. Transparent. A ghost.
It is so heavy on you. You try to hide the bruises, not just the physical but the mental wounds, the emotional lacerations, and the spiritual abrasions left behind. The victimization you suffer can put you in a place of despair. When you try to reach out for help, you don't even know how to bring yourself to express the pain. You have no way to make another person know exactly how you feel. The tears come at a moments notice, even when you aren't thinking about it. Your inner-person is still in the situation although your physical-person is somewhere else.
How do you make it stop? The pain! How do you get the attention of others to see? You smile to hide the tears. You verbalize that you are fine when you are emotionally bleeding. You don't know the last deep breath you took because it feels like each one may be your last. If they are not your last, you may feel like you're better off if they just stop. But they don't stop.
You withdraw because of fear, shame, and desire to protect the aggressor. You withdraw to hide from the world. You are not alone. There is help. We see you. Let us be there for you. The words, the support, the resources we give you may be hard to face. It's like a surgeon who has to cut you open to get to the inside of you in order to fix whatever is wrong. The surgery is painful and causes new scars but without it, you won't make it. Let us take you to surgery so you can be healed. We will wait with you, pray with you, stand with you, and recover with you. But you must get the surgery you need for your life. The situation must be cut out of you! Breathe through the procedure and be healed!
Each breath of life you take is an opportunity to live another moment. Each breath signifies a chance to change your life. You are loved by someone. You are cherished and needed. You are worthy to have a better life. Just... keep... breathing! We are here to listen to you. We are here to support you. We are here to cry upon. I promise, you are not alone. We all may not be able to relate but you have us.
Just when you think the pain is too heavy, there is a way to escape! Keep breathing. You may question God asking Him why were you given such a challenging life. But, someone needs to hear your story. Someone needs to hear of your victory. Each time you pray may not be the time you are delivered. It may be the time you are given strength to endure and patience to hang in there one more breath! Each breath you take, remember someone weaker than you needs to hear of your victory.
Your scars are not because you were too weak to fight. Your scars are not because you were a survivor. Your scars tell the story of a warrior! Your scars tell the story of the pain you thought at one time was too hard but gave you strength for today! You're not weak because of your situation, you're strong because you are enduring! Tomorrow is not promised to us! So today, just decide to breathe... one more time! One more! One more! One more!
It is so heavy on you. You try to hide the bruises, not just the physical but the mental wounds, the emotional lacerations, and the spiritual abrasions left behind. The victimization you suffer can put you in a place of despair. When you try to reach out for help, you don't even know how to bring yourself to express the pain. You have no way to make another person know exactly how you feel. The tears come at a moments notice, even when you aren't thinking about it. Your inner-person is still in the situation although your physical-person is somewhere else.
How do you make it stop? The pain! How do you get the attention of others to see? You smile to hide the tears. You verbalize that you are fine when you are emotionally bleeding. You don't know the last deep breath you took because it feels like each one may be your last. If they are not your last, you may feel like you're better off if they just stop. But they don't stop.
You withdraw because of fear, shame, and desire to protect the aggressor. You withdraw to hide from the world. You are not alone. There is help. We see you. Let us be there for you. The words, the support, the resources we give you may be hard to face. It's like a surgeon who has to cut you open to get to the inside of you in order to fix whatever is wrong. The surgery is painful and causes new scars but without it, you won't make it. Let us take you to surgery so you can be healed. We will wait with you, pray with you, stand with you, and recover with you. But you must get the surgery you need for your life. The situation must be cut out of you! Breathe through the procedure and be healed!
Each breath of life you take is an opportunity to live another moment. Each breath signifies a chance to change your life. You are loved by someone. You are cherished and needed. You are worthy to have a better life. Just... keep... breathing! We are here to listen to you. We are here to support you. We are here to cry upon. I promise, you are not alone. We all may not be able to relate but you have us.
Just when you think the pain is too heavy, there is a way to escape! Keep breathing. You may question God asking Him why were you given such a challenging life. But, someone needs to hear your story. Someone needs to hear of your victory. Each time you pray may not be the time you are delivered. It may be the time you are given strength to endure and patience to hang in there one more breath! Each breath you take, remember someone weaker than you needs to hear of your victory.
Your scars are not because you were too weak to fight. Your scars are not because you were a survivor. Your scars tell the story of a warrior! Your scars tell the story of the pain you thought at one time was too hard but gave you strength for today! You're not weak because of your situation, you're strong because you are enduring! Tomorrow is not promised to us! So today, just decide to breathe... one more time! One more! One more! One more!
Sunday, December 11, 2016
Believe in Yourself
We find ourselves at times looking over our lives evaluating our personal performance. We critique ourselves with the firmness of Simon critiquing American Idol candidates. There is no problem with being hard on yourself. I mean, it makes complete sense to push yourself to do better. Nothing wrong with desiring to be your best self. There are, however, two issues that immediately stand out with this course of action.
1. The critique comes after the action.
2. The critique can sometimes end with us losing belief in our abilities.
The post-critique is normally followed by the cliche, "Hindsight is always 20/20." Yes, you can see clearly after the fact. The Monday Morning Quarterback Syndrome is the philosophy most people take during the evaluation. I challenge you to have a great post-game interview as a winner! How? Evaluate early and often prior to performing. Sometimes we venture into things without practice. Forget the old saying, "Practice makes perfect." This is not true. How many times do people practice singing, dancing, sports, running, and testing only to end up on the losing or failing side? But you practiced! So what! Practice does not make perfect! Perfect practice makes perfect!
If you have a presentation, practice perfectly. How? Go to the venue where you have to present. Put your slide presentation up, make sure everything works and the slides are clearly visible. Go through your presentation right on stage prior to performing. Race coming up soon? Find a closely matched track to run on in the same climate, elevation, and game time uniform you will wear during the race. Dance competition? Practice on the stage you will perform on prior to the real deal. No your distances to perform your movements. Get used to how the auditorium is set up and wear the same attire for the performance. Taking these steps will help you critique yourself prior to going live. Lastly, video record yourself in those final practice sessions. Work out any details you see during the video review of your pre-performance.
What about the day-to-day living? Many days you can try to have a routine and it just falls apart. You can feel like you are losing control of the simple things in your life. Bills, kids, arrival time to work, school assignments missing and it seems like there is not enough time in the day. Sometimes it is like you have more month than you do money, but you balanced your finances. Home routines with the kids just seem to become like trying to fight King-Kong. Yet, the clock keeps ticking ever so loudly every second passes. At the end of the day you can feel like an utter failure!
But, remember, home is a practice ground for the world outside of the home. The house is your sanctuary to recover from the rough week of work, school, and life. You can become overwhelmed with home life just as easily. Set weekly stretch goals. This will give you something to feel good about during the week. Don't set goals for things you have to do anyway. It's supposed to be a stretch. Organize something in the house. Find that cabinet, closet, or drawer that has just accumulated too much stuff and set a goal to clean it out this week. That's a great small goal. Help your self-esteem by doing little things to keep yourself feeling challenged yet accomplished. Your daily home-life is your stage. Guess what, If it's not right, it's alright. Keep doing the little things each week. By the time a year passes by, you will have accomplished 50 or more little goals! How's that for some success?
Life only gives you one chance to get on stage at times. Be prepared by perfectly practicing. If we learn to push ourselves prior to the final act, we will do much better. Find ways to critique yourself before hand. If you have a tough meeting to go into with your boss, your kids, or your client prepare for all of the possible ways the conversation can go and be ready to respond. Have someone role play for you because there may be things you are simply not thinking of at the time.
Losing belief in yourself could be a common result if you are not tough-minded and thick-skinned. You can critique yourself right out of future opportunities, if you do not have mental fortitude. You can be hard on yourself but it should not be to the point you give up on your life. Challenge yourself to do better next time, but there must be a next time. Even if you have to go back to the drawing board and reinvent yourself, you are not losing faith in your abilities, you are simply adjusting. We all need a little re-calibrating from time to time. Corporations do it all the time to avoid dissolving. You can do it too.
Go to battle with the inner-person and demand greatness from your life. In failure find the truth about why your failed. Believe you can adjust. Believe you can reinvent yourself. Believe in yourself to the point you never lose confidence. Your belief in you must establish a strong buoyancy in your character. If you do not believe in yourself, how will you inspire other to believe in you? You are the epicenter of belief. It must start with you. Face calamity, hardship and despair with your head held high and shoulders back. Then get into your lab and go back to square one. Figure out where the mistake came. Correct it. Believe in the new you and forge ahead to new horizons! No matter what, do not lose your faith in you!
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