SUPPORT SYSTEM
We do not go through life alone. You may feel alone at times, but we are not truly alone. Someone is on the other end doing something for us. It could be the mailman delivering mail, the service workers for the utility company doing their jobs so we have power and heat. Maybe it is the doctor and nurse studying hard to provide you great medical care. There are police out there patrolling that keep the other person driving at the speed limit to avoid an accident with you. It's the school teacher spending money out of their personal budget to bring in supplies to help you have a great education. It's the boss on the job teaching you how to be successful in the workplace. Maybe it's the companion that made you a meal while you were sick or the child that keeps a smile on your face when you are upset.
Many people play a role in our lives and sometimes we think we are so alone, but we are not by ourselves. We are surrounded by others supporting us. Some people are direct support while others are indirect. In addition to those two groups of individuals, you also have the most important support system, YOU! You are the most important person to your success. Without believing in yourself and trusting, taking risks, working diligently then you would never make it.
We must recognize others in our lives supporting us. Now, if you do not have people in your primary circle of concern, you need to find them. This is important. You do not want to have "yes-man" type of people. You need contrast. You need people who will disagree with you, not to be negative, but that will say "No, that's not a good idea and here's why." They will also be people that will provide you with new perspectives. Do not think all of the answers are in your head. No one person knows everything. The moment you think you have all of the answers is the moment failure begins. Have people you can seek counsel, lend an ear, and provide the hindsight you need. Surround yourself with people which are headed in the same direction or already where you want to be.
You will have to distance yourself from people who do not add value to your life. Unfortunately, some of the will be close friends and even family. If there is no value being added to your life through them, distance yourself. In addition, anything in your life that is not supporting your journey, cut it off and remove it from your life. This will be difficult because at times, they will be the things you hold dear or that provide you with comfort.
WHY
Finally, what is your why? This could mean so many things, being such an open-ended question. The focus I want you to hone in on is what is driving you? What is your purpose? Why do you want it? In order to know deeply who you are is to search deep within your soul and find your why! Without having a why, you will just lay there in bed drowning in sorrows. Your why gets you out of the bed! Without having a why, you will suffer with depression. Your why motivates you and keeps you focused and inspired. You cannot be motivated and depressed at the same time. It is impossible. That would be like salt and fresh water coming out of the same spigot. Either you are motivated because of your why or you are depressed because of the lack thereof.
How do you discover your why? Ask yourself why you are doing something. Work. School. Business. Church. Mentoring. Why do you think you are doing those things? Now, remove anything tangible like people, money, degree, etc because tangible reasons can fade away. Your kids will get older, then what? You might make plenty of money, then what? You can obtain the degree, then what?
Now, ask yourself again, Why?? The only thing left should be an intangible like character, divine calling, a purpose, or added intangible value to your life. If you have no intangible reason, then sorry, but I question why you are doing it too. If what you are doing has no WHY, stop doing it! Immediately! Just, stop it now! You are doing something that has no purpose, no reason, value. You need at least one of those three to establish a why.
For example, I used to workout then stop, then workout, and stop again. It was cyclical. So, I decided to put some races and other activities on my calendar throughout the year. I figured, if I have something I am working towards, that will keep me motivated. Guess what, it worked. I had a why. It was due to preparing for a race. Well, the following year, I did not sign up for any races. Guess what, I did not workout all year! Your why, cannot be a tangible. It must be intangible. Your why must be for a greater innate purpose that wakes you up and gets you out of the bed every morning.
Do a deeper soul searching to discover your why, It must be as vital as the air you breathe.
In summary, the following stages of this article series are:
1. Defining values
2. Desired outcomes
4. Identification of emotions
5. Honing in on behavior
6. Alignment behaviors with your vision
7. Having a clear picture of your vision
8. Areas of Importance
9. Support System
10. Why
I hope this has helped you. Remember, your journey is just beginning. Please go back and read the series again. Please share this blog series with your friends, family, loved ones, and colleagues. I look forward to hearing your success stories. Leave your testimonial in the comments or send me an email. Feel free to contact me for a more in depth coaching session.
Now, find yourself before you lose yourself!
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